Trust, tenderness and what that has to do with a “healthy” sex life. Listen in as we talk with Joseph Losi and Cynthia Benge of Hold Me Tight Seattle. Both work regularly with couples to repair stalled or ruptured relationships to bring back deep connection and as a result, vibrant intimacy and sex lives as well!

Listen in to this show filled with unexpected insights for your relationship…

Lets talk emotional freedom & SEX with Joseph and Cynthia

by Sue Lundquist | The Gratitude Cafe

(don’t miss their couples and marriage workshops. Their next one is already booked, but you can get on the waitlist to be notified of the next one!)


According to Sue Johnson in her latest book, Love Sense, the number one complaint that couples report when seeking therapeutic help from a couples therapist is problems in their sexual relationship.

So What does it take to build a lifelong passionate marriage??

According to Emotion Focused Therapists Cynthia Benge and Joseph Losi – It takes a quality of emotional safety and intimacy to create a lifelong passionate love affair.

“Problems in the bedroom don’t stem from sex at all, but rather from the lack of emotional intimacy…

It is emotion- the quality of our connection to another person that defines the type of sex we have, the satisfaction we drive from it and the impact it has on our romantic relationships” Sue Johnson

First we want to say what isn’t helpful=

There are a number of current cultural myths perpetuated by the media…

  1. We have to be beautiful or strong and sexy to have great sex– and we all pale by comparison to the Brad Pitts and Jolie’s of the world
  2. Good sex doesn’t take practice- or conversation- it’s supposed to just happen-think of the image of the ice skaters in the Olympics- the synchronisity- the exquisite way they match each other’s moves- that took A LOT of practice, and failed attempts- and conversation
  3. Satisfying sexual encounters always lead to an amazing orgasmic experience- we need to broaden our definition of a sexual experience to include just skin on skin holding and exploration and pleasure-

Instead of asking your partner- do you want to have sex- ask them would you like to be close and feel pleasured?? Now that’s a great invitation!

Many behavioral sex therapists will focus on behaviors-

A list of new positions to try- or new settings or vacations to stimulate excitement- or

A wardrobe of sexy lingerie or A box of sex toys to increase stimulation-

These behavioral approaches aren’t helpful in the long run-while they might be intriguing for awhile- it won’t help love last- if the other ingredients aren’t there

From an emotion focused therapeutic framework:

The sexual experience is an emotional connector vs. primarily a sensation driven opportunity for orgasm, and therefore it takes 3 things

  1. An Authentic Connection
  2. Open Communication
  3. Trust- ………. Tune in to hear the whole show we had a great time!

Time: @ 8:00am PST Tuesday Mach 8th

Radio 1150am or listen live online at
Call in with questions or perhaps we are guided to have a reading:
1-800-298-5569 (KKNW).

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