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Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the word “clarity” as the quality or state of being clear. But what exactly does “being clear” mean in the context of personal growth?
Think of how the word “clear” is used in everyday conversation: clear the air, clear-up, in the clear, the coast is clear, free-and-clear, and have a clear conscience. All of these imply cleansing of physical, mental, and emotional space.
When you “clear the air,” emotional tension and/or misunderstandings are removed. When the weather “clears-up” after a storm it becomes bright and sunny. When the “coast is clear” in your life, you’re freed from guilt or limitations. All of these idioms and their definitions are also true of spiritual growth.
“Being clear” opens a person up to having a sunny, happier spirit, freed of emotional tension, misunderstanding, guilt, and limitations. In this atmosphere, spiritual growth has a fertile place to blossom. Think of the last time you had a “tough” chat with a close friend and found you were brewing about it later. When you “cleared the air” about it, your fear was replaced with joy.
However the challenges of everyday life in today’s busy world can block “being clear.”
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For example, when you come into work you may feel peaceful and happy. But if someone confronts you in an aggressive way with a job-related or personal issue, you may feel suddenly stressed. Your stress may also be compounded if you remember another confrontation with this co-worker which did not go well.
At this point you have a choice. You can react with negativity or you can literally change how you react by learning to tell yourself “a different positive story” about what is happening.
When this situation happens in your life, it’s a great opportunity to grow. In that moment, if you replace the negative, reactive response with an already practiced healthy, positive one, you will create respect and unity.
Another great tool to help through the “sting” of a situation is what I call the CCs in life: Compassionate Curiosity.
When you approach a situation with the CCs, a bit of the sting is taken out of the situation. You are coming at this situation with compassion and curiosity instead of the old negative program which was playing in your head before.
Time to Rewire
Scientific proof shows you have neurological pathways which fire off when you have a thought, and when that thought becomes a feeling, it becomes a habit.
So your habitual response to a confrontational co-worker might be, “Oh, no, not again! She’s going to criticize me!” In this “fight-or-flight” mode you’re likely to lose a calm perspective and not ask pertinent questions to learn why this co-worker might be agitated. Often you may be surprised to discover the stress has nothing to do with you. But in anticipating a negative outcome, you actually create one.
However science has proven these pathways can change. Just like the human heart can find and make a new blood vessel, our brains can make new neurological pathways.
You can literally change “the story” your brain is telling you of how to react to stressful situations.
If you find you are not able to change or are “being triggered” in that moment, this signals it’s time to grow. Take some reflective, quiet time and rehearse how you will handle the situation when it appears in your life again. Create a new neurological pathway.
All of this requires an act of “awareness” on your part. But please don’t shut down due to fear or lack of clarity.
How do you change this negative talk your brain sends to your conscious mind which is based on habit and experiences? How do you recreate your thinking process?
I Have a Tool, a Tool for Clarity.
I’ve used this in my life to find love for a person when all I really wanted to do was chop their head off. Deepak Chopra and The Chopra Center also use this clarity tool. It’s called your PCC, your Personal Code of Conduct.
When you get clear on who you are and who you aspire to be by creating your PCC you will have what I call a Navigation system. This navigation system is your “inner conscious and/or awareness” meter.
It is made up of all your beliefs, moralities and personal values, keeping you in check and creating new mental stories of who you are and how you react. When it comes time to make a choice, big and small, you have the PCC to help you navigate this choice, instead of reverting to old habits and feelings of victimhood.